originally published on August 22nd 2018
hazy
peach-made winds
languid lust
boil raw sweat
bare moans…
lap up urges
like milk
sometimes i want to pick up the phone, but what would i say
they saw girls,
but we saw each other:
defiant, courageous flowers
painted in pollen, the color pynk
navigating stems of hesitant desire––
i never felt your hands on my leaves
the way i sensed we wanted to
but i felt protection in your voice
i felt that maybe they didn’t like to see us together
white woman, Black woman
that was our guess anyway, after the assault on MacDonough,
i guess we were having too much fun
laughing together
i never felt your heart in my heart
the way i sensed we wanted to
but i felt your softness, your sensitivity
you were buried in earth,
behind humor and constant hair changes
and i still enjoyed
laughing together
(and your hair, however you chose it)
i was stuck in clouds
distracted and selfish blinded by the sun, taking more than i could give
and i still enjoyed
laughing together
we made many plans we knew would never happen
we bought boxing gloves and gushed over art supplies
we spoke over drinks in dimly lit bars
we laughed through filters in the back of taxis
we loved the idea of being together more than reality did
we watched the sun rise on a rooftop that crumbled
beneath us
we shared colored pencils and drew a flower that took up
the whole page
this was when i saw your soul, wanting more
a shy longing in your eyes
that no one else knew
you were friends with everyone
foes too––even with me, eventually––
but i saw what few were allowed to see
only one other, specifically,
and we both love you, endlessly
carnal
earth’s touch
never felt so rough
she comes to me in dreams
confused desires
bubble, boil, and steam
inner thighs
intertwined
soft
and divine